Regret - A word which can never make a wrong right. What is done is done. Nothing, nobody, no circumstance can change it. Regret is of no use to the dead. But regret can help us do right by the living. Regret is motivation to never repeat what we did not do right the first time. Regret is education.
Life is unpredictable. The difference between life and death is that death is the ultimate fact. The fact that this is the most permanent thing in the world, is what makes life so inexpensive. So much goes on to make a life. The first 30 years of my life have passed, and I still feel that I am learning every day. Never are we taught to take a break. To sit and just be.
We are running , and no one questions this race. From kindergarten, to high school, from extra curricular to coaching, then to college, then for a job, then to stay on the job, then for promotion. Parallel to this goes our life - from being fuelled by what our parents want, to what our sweet 16 crush wants, to what our life partner wants, to what our children need. The wheels keep turning , we grow up, we get married, rear children, raise them, they marry, they raise their children, we retire, we try to find happiness in our family’s progress, we feel sad that they do not need us as much, we don't have our goals, or cannot fulfil our goals because our health is crumbling, we sometimes become burden on our offsprings and then we die. And the chain of life continues. It is , within these parameters , that we need to find some time to truly live.
Now, lets evaluate the role of our society into how its keeping this chain from breaking.
For that, we need to understand that human mind is different from animal mind. We need to have a goal to be able to move forward. Society has, for the longest time set this goal. Society creates an aspirational path for us, where certain choices are applauded, certain others are looked down upon. Human beings need reassurance, they live in packs, they are unaccustomed to loneliness. Predictability of outcomes for following certain practices is what reinforces a person's belief in what life should be like.
Now comes the question - What do we do? Do we truly need to break this chain? Do we really need to reach somewhere? Is it all in the head? Do all we need from life is for it to continue to its maturity , and try to stay blissful throughout? What are we truly chasing? What happens when we have a home, a car, a spouse, two children, a stable job, and two annual international vacations? Don't we need another investment house, a bigger car, better compatibility from spouse, college tuition fund for children, another promotion, grander vacations? Repeat this n times, and then, do you see the destination where you can be fulfilled?
Now that we have looked at outward goals, let us look inward, and contemplate. What makes you happy? If there was no tomorrow, if today is all you had, what would you want? Would you want that illustrious degree, that swanky mansion, that big car, that big promotion? Or would you just want to be happy, near to the ones you care about, and who care about you. Well, many would have regrets on what they did not do, so maybe the inevitability of an apocalyptic tomorrow is not the correct hypothesis to judge the situation, as it underlines the fact that whatever you do, the outcome is that you do not have a tomorrow, and nobody is happy to go bankrupt, even if the only currency here is time.
Let us look inward again , and think of a situation, when nobody judges what happens tomorrow. You might think that is impractical, but when you stop caring about what people think, you achieve to be a part of this world, where anyone who is not being directly impacted by your actions, stop to matter. Can this be a boon?
Well, we millennials, with access to all the information in this world, have started slowly stepping into this realm, where it doesn't matter. Is that necessarily good? I think not. For, the systematic structure the society provided so far, has not been replaced with any other scaffolding. We are anxious, depressed, thoughtful..! The mind, sometimes is at its most free state when it is following a set of instructions. A dotted path, where if you just manage to keep walking, you may find a lot of peace. We may question the rules we are being asked to follow, to be able to customize them to make them relevant of our present times. But discarding this social construct and running the mind run free may be more difficult and antagonising than accepting the popular viewpoint.
To conclude, the fact that I can say that I don't know , is a relief. That I may or may not want to question, should be upto me, as should whether I want to follow the popular path or not.
And nobody, apart from myself can give me this liberty. There is no lock, there is no key. I cannot make every other person change their criterion to judge the world. I speak in the first person, because , this is all I can try to have control over, and even to be able to fully achieve this would be a great success.
And with this, may come a chance to be able to lead a largely happy life, one without much regret.
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